I was super excited to try circle lenses.. but they were a huge FAIL
It would be easy to blame Lady Gaga for my circle lens foray, jump on the bandwagon of cool that she sashays down and say I just wanted ‘bad romance’ but that would just be lying. think about it. That video was over three years ago, so it would just make me look like the laziest fangirl ever. Truth be told, circle lenses have been on my radar pre-Gaga, as I’m a little obsessed with weird Japanese and Korean blogs and after wondering how the fuck do all the girls look like anime characters, I decided that http://lmgtfy.com/ was pretty much my only answer. Enter a world of fantasy, of sapphire diamonds floating across pupils, tiny gold filaments sparking around irises of the eye, and circles, so many circles, like all your Venn diagram wet dreams in one big strange absorbing eyeball.
The problem was that my eyesight was abhorrent.we’re talking minus eight people, and for those blessed with 20/20, minus six is considered legally blind my many people, so add two more points.. and yeah. Of course, I could get circle lenses and wear them with my glasses, but that felt like a really lame way to go, and would pretty much spoil my whole fantasy of masquerading as some adorable anime nymphet.
In 2012 I had unsuccessful laser eye surgery (yes, I’m in that enviable 5% bracket). My eyesight isn’t 20/20, but it is -2, which means that as long as I avoid roads and reading, I could finally indulge my circle lens fetish.
Carefully selecting the Phantasee MaxVue vision circle lenses in black, I eagerly awaited their arrival. After ripping them open, I was so impatient to try them that I temporarily blinded myself putting one lens in my eye created a burning blistering pain that had me hopping up and down, tears streaming. Seems that the packaged solution the lens travel in doesn’t go so well in the eyes, and the instructions I’d ripped apart would have told me to rinse the lenses in the provided solution.
The next day, I tried them again. I prepared- hands were clean, face was bare and smooth, lenses were rinsed. In went one. then the next. No burning pain- always a good thing, right.
Then I looked in the mirror. Um. I looked pretty much exactly the same. Sure, if you looked super closely you could see that my pupils were a tiny bit wider, but this really wasn’t channeling the inner kawaii girl at all.
I wasn’t going to give up this easily, so I added some kawaii accessories. OK, really just an oversized big pink hairbow,(quick aside, I love bows, Gossip Girl got me into them and they are a great way to make any outfit sparkle, plus they’re great at hiding the fact you haven’t washed your hair lately) dusted on some powder for the ethereal glow I was going for and looked again. Hmm maybe from one angle I looked a little cuter, so I then naturally sent an hour posing and taking photographs.
Sure , from some angles I looked kinda elfin, especially when i pursed my lips, or did that awkward half grin thing I learned from Joey Potter (Dawson’s Creek reference FYI) but overall, meh.
Next, I played around with them in PhotoShop. I had two rules.
FYI I set these rules, there wasn’t some big-eyed goddess of circle lens-hood beaming down on me, I’m just a little bit obsessive and so I decided to arbitrarily impose them on myself. No enlarging was allowed, and in terms of photo editing i could only tweak color and contrast, I couldn’t artificially add glowing orbs to my eyes to make them superman-style.
I played a little, and changing my skin to pale and yellowish tones added to the alien affect, but it was more odd than enchanting and i did feel duped.
Staring disconsolately in the mirror, I went back to their website to ogle the other lens options and to see if I’d just messed up with my order. I had the Big Eyes Defined Ringlense, and the website even showed them on another user- a redhead, who looked striking and exciting and vampy.
OK, so it was just me then. Somehow my face and eyes resist any option of going kawaii and the circle lenses were just another one of those purchases that will go into the better luck next time pile.